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Posts tagged ‘cookbooks’

The Voluptuous Violet

The Voluptuous Violet
by Gabriel Constans

Lady Godiva had nothing on The Voluptuous Violet. Its captivating taste surpasses the alluring talents of Cleopatra, Mata Hari and Isis. The Voluptuous Violet was kept from the public for many years for fear it would create emotional dependence and turn ordinary citizens into Sade and Shakira clones.

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Yield: 5 cups

1/4 cup seedless grapes
1/4 cup blueberries
1/2 cup applesauce
3 cups filtered water
1 large banana
1/4 cup firm tofu
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon honey

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve seductively.

The Unthinkable

The Unthinkable

The recipe for The Unthinkable was classified as TOP SECRET by the U.S. government for the last fifty years, but it has now been revealed for your personal pleasure and right to know, by a former member of the NSA. Make sure the lights are off and the blinds are drawn when you concoct this classified formerly secret smoothie.

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Yield: 5 cups

2 cups filtered water
1 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
1large nectarine, peeled and sliced
2 frozen bananas (thawed and sliced)
1 tablespoon honey
1 cup kiwi-strawberry juice (or equivalent fruit)

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve quietly. You never know who may be listening.

by Gabriel Constans

Psychedelic Visions

Psychedelic Visions

Psychedelic Visions is for all spiritual seekers who still don’t own the video of Fantasia and refuse to meditate or exercise. Like the Voluptuous Violet, this smoothie was kept a secret for many years in the interests of public safety. Reactions to this visionary concoction range from “Tart!” and “Kicking” to “Kinky” and “Sweet”.

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Yield: 5 cups

4 large mushrooms (shitake, oyster, or white), diced
4 large strawberries
1 large banana
1 cup orange juice
1/4 cup boysenberry juice
1/4 cup cranberry juice

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium speed for 1 minute.

Pour into tall glasses and drink with the Grateful Dead.

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

Tutti-Frutti

Tutti-Frutti

Discovered in the vaults of the Kremlin after the fall of Communism in the Soviet Union, this recipe had been hermetically sealed in a safe that only the KGB had access to. Even Stalin, the notorious dictator, didn’t know of its whereabouts. Perhaps if he had sampled the Tutti-Frutti, he would have been much sweeter and more understanding.

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Yield: 4 servings

2 apricots, peeled and sliced
1 nectarine, peeled and sliced
1 cup seedless grapes
1 tablespoon honey
3 cups milk
1 banana
2 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve while listening to Little Richard singing Tutti-Frutti.

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

Dangerous Liaisons

Dangerous Liaisons

This is not a smoothie you want to serve lightly. If you are planning on a divorce, are having an affair, or just having “lustful thoughts,” then don’t drink this in front of your wife, husband, or significant other. It is quite delicious, and if drunk in excess, it can cause you to reveal your deepest desires to all within shouting distance.

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Yield: 4 servings

2 nectarines, peeled, seeded, and sliced
2 cups filtered water
1 banana
1 tablespoon brown rice syrup
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate
1 1/2 teaspoons tahini
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup
2 ice cubes

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium for 45 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve carefully. Do not drink in excess unless you are prepared for some dangerous liaisons.

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

The Peaceful Warrior

The Peaceful Warrior

Until now, the world was unaware of the day peace almost broke out among the planet’s nations. One day, someone tapped into the computers at the CIA, NSA, and DHS and put the entire world on alert by entering this smoothie recipe. Before anyone knew what was happening, China, Pakistan, India, China, Russia and North Korea were threatening one another with new and exciting smoothies. ALL weapons of destruction were converted into giant blenders, with a race to see which country could outdo the others in peacetime alternatives and smoothie diversions.

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Yield: 4 servings

1/2 cantaloupe, peeled, seeded, and sliced
4 ice cubes
2 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1 plum (European or Japanese), pitted
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup brown rice syrup
2 tablespoons applesauce

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and mix on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses, serve and enjoy peace (for a change).

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

The Shadow – Liquid Sunshine

The Shadow (Drink With Sunshine)

Nobody knows where this smoothie came from or how it was discovered. There is no reference to it in any of the literature or cookbooks in the world, but The Shadow knows . . . it tastes great!

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Yield: 4 servings

6 tablespoons frozen orange juice
3 bananas
2 cups milk (soy, rice, almond or dairy)
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
8 ice cubes

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and mix on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve (in the sun or shade).

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

The Green Hornet

Recipe from Luscious Chocolate Smoothies: An Irresistible Collection of Healthy Cocoa Delights by Gabriel Constans.

Perfect for a hot breezy spring day or evening.

The Green Hornet

2 cups orange juice
1 banana (in chunks)
2 kiwifruits (peeled and sliced)
4 scoops vanilla ice cream (dairy, soy or rice)
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

Place all the ingredients in a blender and mix on medium for 1 minute.

Pour the creamy green nectar into tall clear glasses and drink up.

Yields: 3 cups.

Per Cup: Calories 321; Protein 6 g; Total Fat 11 g; Saturated Fat 6 g; Carbohydrate 55 g; Cholesterol 38 mg.

MORE RECIPES, COCOA INFORMATION, STORIES AND HUMOR.

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