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Posts tagged ‘NSA’

Grandy’s Cranberry Crunch

Grandma Grandy’s Cranberry Crunch
by Gabriel Constans

This smoothie is not for the faint of heart; it is a sweet and tart elixir with a very strong flavor. Cranberry juice is excellent for relief of urinary tract and yeast infections. Make sure you use 100 percent pure cranberry juice, not the watered-down cranberry blends often sold in supermarkets.

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Yield: 5 cups

2 1/2 cups pure cranberry juice
2 tablespoons frozen lemonade concentrate or 2 cups fresh lemonade
1 cup apple juice
2 ripe bananas
1 cup seedless grapes
3/4 cup Grape Nuts cereal
3/4 cup honey

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and puree on medium speed for 1 minute.

Pour into tall glasses and serve up one of Grandma’s treats.

The Unthinkable

The Unthinkable

The recipe for The Unthinkable was classified as TOP SECRET by the U.S. government for the last fifty years, but it has now been revealed for your personal pleasure and right to know, by a former member of the NSA. Make sure the lights are off and the blinds are drawn when you concoct this classified formerly secret smoothie.

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Yield: 5 cups

2 cups filtered water
1 cup frozen orange juice concentrate
1large nectarine, peeled and sliced
2 frozen bananas (thawed and sliced)
1 tablespoon honey
1 cup kiwi-strawberry juice (or equivalent fruit)

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and blend on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses and serve quietly. You never know who may be listening.

by Gabriel Constans

The Peaceful Warrior

The Peaceful Warrior

Until now, the world was unaware of the day peace almost broke out among the planet’s nations. One day, someone tapped into the computers at the CIA, NSA, and DHS and put the entire world on alert by entering this smoothie recipe. Before anyone knew what was happening, China, Pakistan, India, China, Russia and North Korea were threatening one another with new and exciting smoothies. ALL weapons of destruction were converted into giant blenders, with a race to see which country could outdo the others in peacetime alternatives and smoothie diversions.

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Yield: 4 servings

1/2 cantaloupe, peeled, seeded, and sliced
4 ice cubes
2 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1 plum (European or Japanese), pitted
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup brown rice syrup
2 tablespoons applesauce

Place all the ingredients in a blender, and mix on medium speed for 30 seconds.

Pour into tall glasses, serve and enjoy peace (for a change).

Great-Am-SmoothiesExcerpt from Great American Smoothies: The Ultimate Blending Guide for Shakes, Slushes, Desserts, & Thirst Quenchers by Gabriel Constans

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